PORTFOLIO

The first thing I have learnt whilst travelling is that you have a hell of a lot of time to sit and think which can be very scary. Without trying to sound pretentious or ‘pick me’, I think it is fair to say I am a deep thinker and have a realistic (cynical) view of the world as it is and I’ve spent many years trying to understand the way I think but modern life makes that difficult, especially when you have a tendency to daydream. Although this is coming from my point of view and my experiences, I do think a lot of the things I’ve learnt whilst travelling, particularly at the age of 28, will be fairly universal. I want to write this to try and make sense of my own thoughts and to also give a realistic experience of travelling as I have seen an increase in people returning home earlier than planned and saying similar things to how I am feeling. I, however, do not want to go back. I have more to learn, and that’s something that is fantastic about the world, it might not all be wonderful but there’s so much to experience.

Guilt

Guilt can be an intense feeling that brings on a whole load of other emotions that can limit your happiness. The initial guilt is, of course, the people you are leaving behind. Everyone in my life told me to travel, my parents, grandparents, colleagues, and friends, but that doesn’t stop the feeling that you are missing out on their lives while you are away.

Personally, leaving my job was also difficult and I put it off for as long as I could, even though if I resigned earlier I could have spent more time with everyone before I left. I also felt very responsible to replace myself but the thing is, it wasn’t my responsibility to find my replacement and they can go on without me. This seems to be a growing mindset about jobs with gen z and I think we can all learn from it. It is common to feel guilty when leaving a job but you can’t go travelling without leaving or getting a sabbatical, and that is what I had to tell myself to finally give in my notice, I just made sure I had prepared them for it.

One of our biggest pushes to travel came from my grandparents and our niece. My grandparents have travelled a lot but like many people, planned on retiring and doing a bit more travelling, but life has other plans and for a lot of people they retire and can no longer go abroad because of health reasons and money. The guilt comes from potentially not seeing the last few years of their life but my grandad didn’t hesitate in telling us to go. You don’t want to regret not doing things in life, we could have hated travelling and been home in a month but at least we would have tried and known it wasn’t for us. That isn’t the case and we are so glad we left and we now won’t have the regret that we never saw more of the world when we are old. We will probably just have regrets about other things instead. Our niece goes hand in hand with this. We know we are missing huge milestones in her life, like her 3rd birthday and first Christmas where she understands whats going on, but we also want to show her that she can go see the world when she’s older and that’s okay. We don’t want kids but that doesn’t mean we don’t care about the children in our life. We are hoping to show her that she doesn’t have to follow the stereotypical life plan if she doesn’t want to. We can also speak to everyone on video calls all the time and we have been sending postcards, so they didn’t completely get rid of us.

Whilst travelling another level of guilt kicks in and that’s the feeling that you aren’t seeing enough or making the most of it. A lot of this comes from social media. When you see that people have fit in every activity possible and still go out to party in a very short amount of time it can easily feel like you should be doing that too. There are people who can probably do all that and still feel full of energy but a lot of people, me included, simply can’t do that much and still be a nice person to be around. When I get tired and hungry I am not fun and that’s normal for a lot of people. What’s the point of the freedom to travel if you still end up burnt out? You need relaxed days to give your body a break and give your mind a chance to catch up on all of the things you have just seen. We spent a lot of days in Vietnam and Cambodia learning about war and genocide and it’s a lot to process so we had to balance it out with chilled days.

Also, timelines on social media aren’t the same as in real life. It can seem as though every day is exciting but that’s just because of the amount of pictures that get taken. For safety, we stagger our photos so our location is hard to determine and there are most likely other people who do the same, which makes it look as though every day is exhilarating and life-changing when we’ve actually spent the day watching a TV series. When you are long-term travelling you also need to make your money last so we have found, that for us, we would rather sacrifice a few excursions or fancy meals and cocktails so that we can travel for longer. This does come with the guilt of not making the most of it but we are staying in some countries for over a month so we are still experiencing the culture.

Changing

There is a little misconception that travel changes you. For some people that may be the case but for the people we have come across and myself, there isn’t a significant change. This might be an age thing though as I went through a big change in my life from 23-26, as do many people, which isn’t talked about enough, but that might be a whole separate topic to discuss. I came away knowing what my religious beliefs are, or lack of, and my beliefs of the world. So being away from home and meeting people from different walks of life hasn’t changed my beliefs just made them stronger and expanded my thoughts. People who decide to travel tend to have a similar mindset which is why I think that most people don’t fundamentally change their views whilst travelling but their beliefs are often strengthened.

Now this may be different for solo travellers, and I have little experience of that so far, but that will be changing soon, if you aren’t an outgoing person to begin with that probably won’t change and that is perfectly okay. I am a very introverted person and have been described as quiet and shy my whole life (unless they’ve met me after a few tequila shots) and travelling has not changed that. I am living my life with a very outgoing person though who is described as a yapper and takes any opportunity to entertain, but even when I’m by myself I just don’t feel the need to go out and socialise. I am trying to be more confident and push myself to talk and explore more so that it will become easier but I am also happy now with spending time on my own and not feeling forced to perform. If you are solo travelling there is more of a necessity to push yourself as there may be times when you don’t meet anybody you can talk to and that could become lonely but for an introvert to become extroverted is very rare.

Something else that the people outside of the world of travelling might think is that you are happy and stress-free and therefore less depressed. There is less stress and I do feel happier and more content than I have potentially ever felt however there are other stresses to travelling and it can be exhausting. To be clear, I’m not trying to say being unemployed, exploring the world is difficult and harder than working but what I am saying is that if you have anxiety and depression the increased vitamin-d doesn’t magically make it go away. It can help, however a lack of routine and stability can cause havoc with the mind. This is what I have seen a lot of people going home for, there is often nowhere to cook your meals or exercise and if you are moving every couple of days you are faced with a new environment constantly which can be overwhelming. Some countries also have laws against bringing certain medications with you so if you take ADHD medication for example you can’t take that into Japan or Thailand because they don’t allow stimulants. It is just something to be aware of that mental illness or disorders don’t stay at home.

My last point on changing is if you like to watch films and series then you will still want to do that and if you procrastinate at home that won’t change. We love watching films and we binged Mr Robot in Bali because for us that’s relaxing and it reminds us of home, it was part of our routine and it is okay to relax and do that. I thought I’d get so much work done and not be on my phone all the time but that is something I still struggle with. I can’t help it. I love doom-scrolling and posting pictures. Ash is much more motivated than me so he does get work done and has even been networking whilst travelling but for me I need clear timeframes and goals to get anything done and the work I’m doing is just personal projects with no deadline.

I hoped I would change but I think for now I am stuck as I am and I’m happy with that. If you are going to travel when you are younger then you will probably see yourself changing more but the most I see people say they have changed is how much they were partying and then regretting it so they stopped, which I applaud because there is a lot of pressure to drink to socialise, especially whilst travelling. If anything it isn’t change I see but more realisation of the person you already are that you can’t see whilst consumed by work and stress at home.

Compromise

This is more for the people who are travelling in couples or groups. Being with someone 24/7 for months at a time is intense and different to living with someone at home. If you don’t learn to compromise there will be issues and you can’t get away from them.

We struggled a little after the first month, but once the nerves and excitement lowered we were faced with deciding what to do and when. There were no big problems but we both had so many things we wanted to do we couldn’t fit it all in so we had to figure out who dropped what thing they wanted to do. Now the easiest option would be for one person to give in and agree to whatever the other person wants which isn’t fair and in the end could result in one person not wanting to do anything they wanted to do and feeling unfulfilled. Sometimes we do things separately if there’s anything we really want to do and the time apart is good but we have found our rhythm now and it isn’t often we disagree on what to do.

There also has to be a compromise between accommodations and restaurants you want to go to, what you can afford and having a treat. If you manage to stay on budget everyday whilst travelling I applaud you because we can’t. We try to keep our costs down with the accommodation we stay in and the meals we have so we can experience more however sometimes we have to treat ourselves so we can be more rested and fulfil some food cravings. The majority of the time we have to compromise space and private bathrooms in hostels so that we can get the best location for cheaper. Sometimes though, a big soft bed, your own shower and a pool are more beneficial than a low price. In Bangkok, nearly halfway through our trip we had to stay extra days in the city and decided to book a nicer hotel with a buffet breakfast and a gym, things we hadn’t had the whole time of travelling so that we could reset and be ready for our Korea and Japan plans and it was so helpful. Having to eat plain porridge everyday and room temperature instant coffee is an easy compromise to be able to eat things like pizza every now and again.

The biggest compromise though is just our general spending and the work before travelling that has meant we can freely move and enjoy each country without working now and we are very lucky we are able to do this. Knowing not buying one outfit means we get another full day from our budget is very motivating and it’s something we will be taking home with us.

Key Points

The main takeaway is that the scrimping and saving, leaving your life behind and the compromising is so worth it. The things you learn whilst travelling are invaluable and will shape your future decisions and although you might not change as a person you will find out just whats important to you. Everyone has different experiences of life and if you are lucky enough to travel you shouldn’t let things stand in your way. It is difficult not seeing your family and friends but I believe life is to be lived and so many people don’t get to live their life and it’s important to learn about what goes on abroad and meet people you can learn from so we can break chains of horror and suffering.

This is not to put people off or say that my experience will be the same as everyone else who travels but it’s to encourage travel and embrace who you are. I am learning things about myself and the world every day.